What’s Your Number

Released: 30 September 2011 (UK)

Directed By: Mark Mylod

Starring: Anna Faris, Chris Evans

Certificate: 15 (UK)

Reviewed By: Mitch Hansch

Anna Faris is funny; her new film, “What’s Your Number”, is not. The talented Faris makes more out of the material given, but it’s not enough as the people behind the scenes prove to be an embarrassment of numerous disappointments. I’m not saying Faris is Lucille Ball, but the quirky beauty with the raspy voice and good comic timing deserves better. As “What’s Your Number” gets going and has to start explaining it’s choices the film becomes an unstoppable avalanche of preposterous drivel, proving that the wonderful “Bridesmaids” of the female comedy cinema world are few and far between.

Ally (Anna Faris) has just lost her job, and she’s watching her little sister Daisy (Ari Graynor) plan her perfect wedding. After comparing with her friends the number of people they’ve slept with, she realizes she’s a slut. The “slut” is what Ally labels herself as after she reads an article stating that women who have had 20 sexual partners will probably never get married. Just hitting this ‘hit’ number, Ally decrees to take control of her destiny of which the script declares for a woman is ‘getting her man’. (And they say there’s no more Women’s Rights Activists.)

No new partners ‘with the sex’ means recycling through Ally’s ex’s so she can finally have fulfillment in her life. Wouldn’t you know that there just might be that guy in her life already (duh spoiler alert: there is). Ally’s just as slutty-across -the-hall-neighbor-Colin (Chris Evans) helps her out by using what he’s learned from his cop dad, and tracking down all her fishes that got away. Hilarity doesn’t ensue as Gabrielle Allan and Jennifer Crittenden’s screenplay mistakes crude female banter as comedy. “Vagina, vagina, ‘69’, vagina, vagina, hand job.” does not alone a joke make work.

Here’s what does work- Faris working to salvage the cliche of ‘misguided-young-woman-looking-for-love-rom-com’ and her and Chris Evans’ chemistry. Evans was ten times more charming and more interesting than this years earlier blockbuster “Captain America” ever allowed him to be. You definitely want these two to get together, but when that inevitable moment of them almost figuring it out comes it’s an excruciatingly long and asinine journey to finally get us to the end result.

Director Mark Mylod (Entourage) has no control over the film. From the weird editing being thrown together like a blind man at darts to obvious lighting blunders, and a scene that for some reason no one brings up that Faris’ skin is Oomp Loompa orange. Few scenes play strong with the prize for the “most jaw-droppingly stupid” going to a round of strip horse that turns into a “Teen Wolf” style edited one on one game in a somehow unsupervised Boston Celtics arena. So dumb.

What’s Anna Faris’ number of crap films she has to be in before one comes out good? Keep ‘em coming.