Final Destination 5

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Released: 12th August 2011

Director: Steven Quale

Stars: Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Miles Fisher

Certificate: 15

If you’re a faithful Final Destination fan or a girl that’s been dragged by her boyfriend, then you’ve made it to #5. Congrats, you like watching young attractive people die onscreen (there’s no judging here) and so you shall be rewarded. Second Unit Director of “Avatar” Steven Quale, gets his first chance in the big boy chair and doesn’t disappoint with grandiose death sequences that can hold their own in any of the previous series entries. But if you’re like me, and I know I am, than those little things like watchable dialogue, humor, and overall decent storytelling have died their own gruesome death in “Final Destination 5.

I’ve been so burnt out on the waste of 3D in movies I did not see FD5 in that format. I think I actually missed out, the opening credits have multiple objects being thrown through glass. Without 3D I basically just watched everything and the kitchen sink being tossed at me for about five minutes with dramatic rock music as the score. There’s a good chance that will be one of my death bed regrets.

This time death is cheated when Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto) saves himself and seven others after he gets a premonition of a bridge collapsing. Others who get to get to live a little longer include Molly (Frozen’s Emma Bell) who just dumped Sam, Peter (Tom Cruise lookalike Miles Fisher), the slutty one (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood), the nerdy horn dog (P.J. Byrne), and other staple generic casting choices. Of course this pisses off the grim reaper which entitles you to a grander death. “FD5” starts off with “A” material when it comes to the elaborateness of its deaths that include creativeness with gymnasts, acupuncture, and a laser surgery gone horribly wrong that had me a bit squeamish.

The twist to keep it interesting, which it really doesn’t, Tony Todd returns from the first two films to pick up his check and fore-warn the survivors that if they take an innocents life then they’ll get to survive for the rest of their days. After the cleverness of the initial onslaught the only thing going for the film, the deaths, get lazy. Funnyman David Koechner is wasted with holding back his humor and holding back on his demise. Meh.

I’ll give it to the ending for a decent surprise that will be a nice treat to the films fans. There’s almost enough here to breathe new life into the series but almost only counts in hand grenades, horseshoes, and Ryan Reynolds movies.