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You, Me And Him

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Released: 12th April 2018

Directed By: Daisy Aitkens

Starring: David Tennant, Faye Marsay

Reviewed By: Van Connor

It’s difficult to even attempt to reconcile the kind of mind that could feasibly enjoy You, Me & Him – a comedy that manages to not only be gobsmackingly devoid of laughter, not only reduce Ben Elton’s woefully misjudged Maybe, Baby to the rank of Britain’s second-worst twenty-first century pregnancy comedy, but also takes the opportunity – not once but twice – to gift cherished comic actor Don Warrington the single most jaw-droppingly ignorant and out-of-touch moment the LGBT community could possibly envision in a supposedly “woke” industry. Put it this way, if You, Me & Him were someone’s actual baby, they’d not be remiss in considering handing it over to social services and doing a runner.

The “hilarity” begins with fortyish office worker Olivia deciding to face off against her biological clock by beginning fertility treatments without the knowledge of her lackadaisical younger partner Alex (Faye Marsay), who responds in kind by proceeding to drink herself senseless and spend the night with newly divorced neighbour John (David Tennant). Before you know it, both women are pregnant, and Olivia’s dream of the perfect two-parent one-child family has devolved into three and two, but first there’s the whacky hijinks of pregnancy to get through.

To be fair, the misfires begin almost instantly with the assertion of eternal comic foil Lucy Punch being cast in the seemingly sympathetic “everywoman” lead. Parlaying potentially relatable urban neuroses into what’s instantly the least-investible comedic lead this side of Freddy Got Fingered, it’s something of an unfathomable achievement that she’s unquestionably the most likeable presence to be found – somehow still effortlessly more endearing than Tennant’s nauseating hipster neighbour and Faye Marsay’s frankly mystifying… younger… painter? Conceptual artist? To be honest, Marsay’s role here is so scattershot and ill-defined beyond “slacker” that You, Me & Him could feasibly whip out the revelation that she was secretly a Skywalker and not only would it make about as much sense as anything else as regards the character, it’d come with all the same impact of any other plot point on offer.

You see, You, Me & Him wants, predominantly, to be a comedy. The trouble there is, well gee, it’s not very funny. When it then attempts to add some genuine punch to its story later in the game, it comes despite no earned payoff that would have otherwise been garnered through laughter and subsequent emotional investment. You don’t care. Which is fitting, in a sense, as nobody on screen at any given point (bar possibly Simon Bird – who can now wipe his turd-shower from The Inbetweeners 2 off as the most degrading thing on his resume) seems to be present for anything beyond picking up a cheque. Tennant’s basically amusing himself, Marsay seems as baffled as the audience as to who she’s really supposed to be playing, and Punch may well work when you surround her with otherwise endearing talent (she makes for a great antagonist, typically), but is so intolerable a presence in any kind of sympathetic capacity that it undermines any noble intent you might perceive You, Me & Him to feasibly have.

A bonafide contender for the worst cinematic offering of 2018 so far, You, Me & Him makes an unintentional argument for Jack & Sarah to be reissued and admonished by the BFI purely for not being a patronising, unfunny and borderline antagonising baby-related cinematic affair. The debut feature of actress Daisy Aitkens – following two shorts – You, Me & Him utterly squanders the opportunity afforded it by the frankly gigantic cultural strides of the past two decades to offer the gay community not a cinematic statement of any note, but tauntingly dangle the prospect in front of it instead.

Keeper of Lola M. Bear. Film critic for Movie Marker, TalkRADIO, and others. Producer of podcasts. Skechers enthusiast and blazer aficionado. All opinions my own.

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Movie Reviews

Bad Times at the El Royale ★★★★

Bad Times at the El Royale feels like a throwback to Tarantino in all his 90’s pomp.

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Director: Drew Goddard

Stars: Dakota Johnson, Cynthia Erivo, Jeff Bridges, Jon Hamm, Chris Hemsworth, Lewis Pullman

Released: 12th October 2018 (UK)

Bad Times at the El Royale has seemingly fallen foul of the particularly hectic October release schedule in the U.K. As Venom and A Star is Born dominate the box-office and with the London Film Festival in full swing, El Royale has not received the recognition it deserves.

Boasting an impressive cast, Bad Times at the El Royale follows seven strangers whose stories intertwine at the El Royale hotel in Lake Tahoe. As each person’s agenda for being at the El Royale is revealed, tensions inevitably rises and the characters collide.

From the get-go, El Royale feels like a throwback to Tarantino in all his 90’s pomp. Director Drew Goddard, no stranger to managing madness following his debut A Cabin in the Woods, has crafted an immersive, intricately linked murder-mystery that feels like a grindhouse version of Cluedo. The violence is garish but necessary, the dialogue is short and snappy and the characters are most importantly, interesting. The hardest part of any film with so many moving parts, is making the audience actually bond with those involved. Goddard, who also wrote the screenplay, has nailed this – giving enough back-story for each, whilst holding enough back to keep us learning more.

Between Jeff Bridge’s bad-ass priest, Dakota Johnson’s kill-happy hippy and Chris Hemsworth’s dancing cult-leader, the wider cast have somehow managed to create a credible on-screen dynamic, despite the stark character contrasts. Cynthia Erivo’s soulful singer Darlene is the obvious standout and her interactions with Bridge’s Father Flynn provide some of the most film’s most satisfying scenes. Lewis Pullman’s unassuming concierge Miles is another strong performance deserving of a mention.

The film swaggers along accompanied by its killer soundtrack, which plays a crucial part in the films tonal change from chapter to chapter. It’s dark and violent, yet at times it’s engaging and even emotional. The sharp edits that mash-up the timeline don’t over-complicate the plot, but accentuate the frenzied feeling that Goddard is creating as we head towards the plot’s crescendo.

As expected there are some areas where a film with so much going on inevitably suffers. Jon Hamm’s Seymour is arguably the biggest victim of this, with his character perhaps not utilised as much as it could have been. The film also feels a little too fleshed out in parts, lingering on some of the less necessary aspects and leaving one or two plotlines unexplored as a result.

Bad Times at the El Royale really does feel like a Tarantino movie and that’s no mean feat, Goddard has taken his own style and applied tried and tested techniques to create a compelling, genuinely exciting movie and one that deserves to be enjoyed by a wider audience.

 

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Movie Reviews

LFF 2018 Review – Arctic ★★★★

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Released: 5 December 2018

Directed by: Joe Penna

Starring: Mads Mikkelsen, Maria Thelma Smáradóttir

Reviewed by: Lauren Tina Brady

An expanse of white as far as the eye can see, gently sloping mountains in the horizon, a polar bear pads silently across the snow, pausing briefly to gaze back at the watching man across the valley.

At first Arctic reads as a classic survival narrative; the basic man vs. nature conundrum. I’d recently seen The Mountain Between Us, which draws some very obvious similarities; plane crash, hostile snowy environment, a great expanse needing to be crossed for a chance of survival. However, unlike relying on the pairing of Kate Winslet and Idris Elba for context,  Arctic’s dialogue is bare. This is largely due to the fact that there is only the protagonist for the first third of the film, played by Mads Mikkelsen.

At first it appears to lull you into that false sense of security of knowing exactly how this works out; he sticks to a routine of catching fish, laying out black rocks spelling ‘help’ against the snow and signalling for nearby aircraft. However, crucially, we don’t know who he is. He speaks very little, in both Danish and English. He offers no information to help us piece together a backstory and remains an enigma throughout, which feels fresh. The character becomes more than a person; he becomes the flicker of hope for survival, the spectrum of emotions that occur in the darkest of hours.

There is plenty of drama to keep us on the edge of our seats; he has a chance of escape quite early on – a small helicopter has spotted him and attempts to make it’s way towards him in strong winds leading to a crash. There are two people on board; one is killed with the other, a woman (Maria Thelma Smáradóttir), who survives but is badly hurt and must be cared for. Suddenly the odds of both surviving are halved; the danger is intensified.

Here is a tale of endurance over survival. This is where Mikkelsen excels; he digs deep to portray every possible emotion through a gruelling and ice-cold journey. He is silent but his face says everything. I laughed in delight, I wept quietly. It’s hard to imagine anyone else playing this role.

It’s a feat for Joe Penna, directing his feature film debut. See it for Mikkelsen, stay for the sensitive direction and the stunning cinematography.

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Movie Reviews

LFF 2018 Review – Museum ★★★★

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Director: Alonso Ruizpalacios

Stars: Gael García Bernal, Leonardo Ortizgris, Alfredo Castro

Released: London Film Festival 2018

It’s Christmas Day, 1985. College dropouts Juan Nunez and Benjamin Wilson are ready to pull off an audacious heist that will have authorities searching for professional art thieves for years. Based on a true story, Alonso Ruizpalacios’ film sees the duo attempt to steal 140 priceless artefacts from the National Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City. Winner of the Silver Bear for Best Screenplay at Berlin International Film Festival earlier this year, Museum explores the mindsets of two would be criminals with nothing to lose.

The tale is narrated by Wilson, played with subtle compassion by Leonardo Ortizgris. Wilson’s role is much like Nick’s in The Great Gatsby, an opinionated and somewhat loyally biased eye through which Juan is diluted. Played by Gael Garcia Bernal, Juan is the film’s focus, a Mexican Cool Hand Luke drifting through his young adulthood. In the hands of another actor, Juan may have come off as entitled, lazy even, but Bernal’s performance layers the character with sympathetic naivety and relatable desire. A perennially youthful, multifaceted actor, Bernal paints buckets of emotion into every micro-expression.

The crime takes place after Christmas dinner, a lively family affair that sees Juan alienated and berated. At first, the silence is reminiscent of the hanging scene from Mission: Impossible; the tension equally palpable. But soon the action changes, pared back to a static style similar to the panels of a comic book. It is a technique repeated throughout the film, the continuity broken up into freeze frames that are not quite motionless, still alive with a touch of movement. Reducing these scenes to a childlike fantasy, Ruizpalacios succeeds in creating the ultimate sense of idyllic, youthful adventure.

Something often ignored in heist films is the aftermath, when the thieves must deal with the fallout of their decisions. Museum’s second act focuses on this aspect, allowing the introduction of an English art dealer, played by the superb Simon Russell Beale. Uncertainty builds from the start of their meeting, as the camera endlessly pans until Juan’s misguided perceptions come crashing down around him. In a script littered with intelligence and comedy, it is a pleasant surprise to see the characters’ raw emotion become the focal point.

Ruizpalacios seems content to pose questions that hang wispily in the air, unanswered: questions of cultural ownership, of morality and greed. He is more interested in the character study at the heart of this story, of a man who commits a crime out of boredom, a sense of nihilism or a desire for adventure, or perhaps a little of all three. It is a fresh idea in a crowded genre, making for a film that is impressive but never quite brilliant, a wonderful adventure that doesn’t aim to blow minds. But does that matter? As Juan says and Wilson relays: “Why let the truth ruin a good story?”, a sentiment Ruizpalacios takes quite literally. Luckily for him, Museum is without a doubt a good story.

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